Achieve Your Dreams-Don’t Let Your Emotion Brain Win!
Welcome to the second of three articles on a scientific approach to achieving your goals. Last time, we talked about how to define a believable journey to your objective. We discussed how to prime your brain for success, use cognitive dissonance to your advantage and employ the Goldilocks Strategy.
In this (and the next) article, I’m going to explain why most people—even those with clearly defined objectives—fail to achieve their goals, and teach you what to do about it.
Most people flunk out because they don’t know about, and fail to manage, their Emotion Brain. Remember this fact for the rest of your life, it’s that important: Whenever you try to change your behavior, your Emotion Brain stacks the odds against you.
"Steve, what the heck is my Emotion Brain?"
Your Emotion Brain
Your Emotion Brain is the part of your brain that scans your environment and instantly triggers a physical response to anything perceived as threatening. Let’s say, for example, that you don’t like spiders. One day, while cleaning behind your desk, you unexpectedly encounter a big, hairy example of the species; eek! You have your Emotion Brain to thank for your immediate retreat, racing heart and clammy palms.
In addition to triggering physical "fight-or-flight" responses to scary spiders, your Emotion Brain also sends signals to other parts of your brain that you interpret as feelings. That’s why I call it the Emotion Brain. For example, when you feel afraid of a spider, your Emotion Brain is responsible.
Your Emotion Brain And Change
Unfortunately, your Emotion Brain also codes anything unfamiliar—including any changes in your behavior—as "threatening". And so, whenever you try to change your behavior in order to achieve a goal, your Emotion Brain sends "fear messages" that leave you feeling uncomfortable.
As a result, you retreat from the behavior in order to resolve your discomfort. This is why, if you let it, your Emotion Brain will resist any attempts you make to change. And, if you don’t change, you won’t ever grow towards your true potential. If you allow it, your Emotion Brain will immobilize you, block your personal development and prevent you achieving your goals, day in and day out, until you die!
How To Manage Your Emotion Brain
If you followed the outline I gave you last week, you’re crystal clear about where you are (Situation A) and where you want to be (Situation B). At this point, as you plan your approach (the steps that will move your from A to B), it’s mission critical you keep your Emotion Brain in check.
Here are some common "fear messages" from your Emotion Brain and how to deal with them…
Fear message #1: "I must stop, I’m overwhelmed"
When you’re in limbo between Situations A and B, your Emotion Brain will send "fear messages" that leave you feeling overwhelmed. When this occurs, and it will, you’ll be tempted to give in to your Emotion Brain and retreat back to the starting point.
Here’s a better strategy: As you plan your approach, reduce your "fear quotient" by positioning simple, specific and sequential steps between Situations A and B. Even if—in accordance with last week’s advice—you’ve set yourself an entirely believable goal, it’s still vital that you divide your challenge into small, easily completed, steps.
What’s more if, despite your planning, you still feel overwhelmed en route from A to B, refuse to give in to your Emotion Brain. Instead, divide the step you’re finding challenging into even smaller, and easier to complete, tasks. Remember: If the individual tasks are too big, your Emotion Brain will overwhelm you with "fear messages" and your goal won’t be achieved. Chunking up the challenge is a simple and effective way of ensuring that doesn’t happen.
Fear message #2: "I can’t do it!"
People hear their Emotion Brain whisper: "You can’t do it!" And they conclude, wrongly, that they weren’t meant to try and give up. Whenever you doubt your ability to complete the task, ask yourself, calmly: "Do I have the necessary skills and knowledge?" If the answer’s "No," don’t give up, get educated.
It’s an easy fix. Take an evening class, read a book by an acknowledged expert. Whatever your challenge, feed your head with sufficient high-quality information to give you the self-confidence you need to silence your Emotion Brain and act decisively.
Fear Message #3: "What if [insert nasty outcome here]?"
Another way your Emotion Brain holds you hostage is to send you endless: "What if [insert nasty outcome here]?" questions. For example:
"I could let my boss know I’m interested in the supervisor position, but what if I don’t get hired?"
"What if I write my novel and no one wants to publish it?"
Moreover, one "What If?" leads to another. This mental process is called catastrophizing: "I could volunteer to speak at my company’s national sales meeting, but what if I bomb? … What if my failed presentation upsets my boss and I lose my job? … What if I’m too old to get another job in my industry?" … And so on…
As you plan your approach, pay specific attention to contingencies. What will you do if your worst fear happens? Let’s say you can’t get anyone interested in publishing your novel. What contingency plans might you consider? You could seek a literary agent to represent you. Alternatively, you might consider self-publishing your book or setting up a website and selling your novel as an online ebook.
The important thing is to have multiple contingency plans in place before you take action towards your goal. Then when your Emotion Brain starts asking "What If?" you’ll have your answers in place. Bottom line: A contingency plan turns a "What if ______ happens?" into a "So what if _______ happens!"
The Worst "What If?" Of All
If you allow your Emotion Brain to hold you hostage, at the end of your life you get to ask the worst "What If?" question of all:
"What if I’d been less afraid, what might I have accomplished?"
To beat your Emotion Brain, you must be willing to be comfortable being uncomfortable and take action anyway. Don’t let your Emotion Brain win. Don’t give in to the instinct to freeze whenever you enter unfamiliar territory. If you wait until you feel comfortable to begin making changes in your life, you’ll never take action or achieve your potential.
Bottom line: Take action, the first step, even a small step. And, in the next article, I’ll teach you how to condition your Emotion Brain for success: Goal Setting - Part 3
