Context Is Vital…

It defines the meaning of our experience. That’s why we get excited by a sweaty bag of five peanuts on an airplane; not so exciting at a barbecue. And why the garden that seemed too small when I first visited my house with a realtor, now appears much bigger when I’m standing behind a lawn mower. (Apparently, it’s darkest before the lawn.)

Without context, the perceived facts around a particular person, situation or object, information is mental noise. Fortunately, we’re incredibly skilled at establishing context in, even swiftly observed, situations.

Here’s The Catch…

Creating (and switching) context takes some serious mental effort. For example, technology has enabled us to make lightening-fast shifts in our work-space. I can have Word, Photoshop and Facebook open at the same time and switch between them with a single click. And while being able to write my book, edit a photo and engage in internet banter with the entire “world” might make me a Renaissance Man (backed by some serious RAM) my actual (in between my ears) memory can’t keep up.

Every shift between programs represents a shift in context. We need to let go of the details of one project and mentally regroup around a completely different set of relevant data points. And this repetitive flushing and rebooting of our short-term memory as we switch between contexts is mentally draining. That’s why, at the end of a busy day, you feel so exhausted; even if your “heavy lifting” has been entirely mental.

Conserve Your Cognitive Cash

As much as is feasible, when you plan your day limit the number of contextual shifts you are required to make. By grouping together tasks that have a similar context, you are spending your “cognitive cash” more wisely.

For example: Schedule time immediately after a meeting to take action on any new directives that arise. Recognize that if, after the meeting, you begin an unrelated task and then return to your post-meeting agenda at a later time, that’s extra cognitive cash you’re spending.

I appreciate that, in the frenetic day-to-day, you sometimes need to leap contextual divides. You’re chipping away at one task when something “explodes” elsewhere and demands your immediate attention. Next time this happens to you, before you switch from one task to another, take contextual notes. Write a brief reminder to yourself—this is the step I’ve just completed, this is my next action step and these are my current thoughts on this project. When you return to your project, you can leap back into it far more smoothly and with less cognitive effort.

The take home for today is this. Keep context in mind and be quick to ask: How can I schedule my day to conserve cognitive cash?

Quick Confession: Despite my “Renaissance Man” comment, my Facebook Page is very new (and actually looks totally lame). I could do with some fans.

If you have a Facebook account and would like to connect with my page, here’s the link: Steve’s Facebook Page Once you’re at the page, click the button that looks like this…

And, as always, if you’d like to ask a question or make a comment, there’s the “Speak Your Mind” box below…

It’s always fun to hear from you,

Steve

And I’m not even talking about information overload; the ever-increasing stack of websites, books and DVDs you “should” study if you’re to have any chance(?) of being an effective executive or a good parent.

Self-Distraction

This message is about self-distraction. I had the rare (and wonderful) privilege of hearing John Williams conduct the Fort Worth Symphony on Tuesday night. It was an amazing experience to hear a range of instantly recognizable movie themes (Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, ET, Jaws, Close Encounters) conducted by the creative genius who composed them.

Williams has worked with Steven Spielberg for thirty-seven consecutive years which, as an artistic collaboration, must set some kind of record. (How long was Gilbert with Sullivan?) Williams told a great story about writing the musical score for Schindler’s List. He said to Spielberg: “This is such an incredible movie, you need a better composer”. “I know,” Spielberg replied, “…but they’re all dead!”

As much as I absolutely loved the concert, I caught myself thinking intrusive thoughts—I wonder if I’ll get to hear Jurassic Park?—from time to time. For most of the evening I listened to the orchestra, but occasionally—could they play Jurassic Park on the fly?—my mind wandered. And the more I tried to focus—should yell out a request?—the more distracting my intrusive thoughts became.

Rethinking Tired Thoughts

Here’s the thing: Whenever you try to take positive steps in a new and valued direction there are inevitably problems to solve, decisions to make, some frustration and anxiety. These problems, decisions and emotions can be attention-grabbing distractions and—when they intrude upon your attempts to stay focused—hinder every attempt you make to work towards your high-priority goals.

We are frequently distracted by our own thoughts, reliving unpleasant situations (plotting revenge?) worrying about the future, and rethinking tired thoughts that invariably lead to the same conclusions. Not only does this waste a ton of valuable time and pump our stress levels through the roof, it distracts us from completing the high-priority tasks that really make a difference. Imagine if you were able to stay hyper-focused, on task and simply let these self-distractions come and go as they please. How much more productive would you be?

The Self-Distraction Exercise

The solution to this problem is to learn how to unhook yourself from your own distracting thoughts. Here’s how: Find a quiet place and a block of 10 minutes in your schedule where you won’t be disturbed. Sit back in the chair, with your feet flat on the floor and close your eyes. You can also do this exercise lying on a bed (although you might get a few stares from the other customers in Mattress Warehouse) your head supported by a pillow and your arms relaxed by your side.

Take a deep breath in. Then, as you breath out, relax and feel the tension leaving your body. Then allow your breath to find it’s own rhythm, don’t make any attempt to control it.

Your objective for the next 10 minutes is simply to focus on your breathing, allow your thoughts to come and go as they please and not get hooked into ruminating over them. Every time a thought pops into your mind, label it “thought” and then let it go. That’s the goal, very simple…but not easy.

As you try this exercise, here’s what you’ll find: The very moment you sit still and quiet your mind, thoughts will begin bubbling up from your unconscious. And, believe me, mentally pushing them away won’t help. You can’t stop the voice in your head. You can’t stop making up stuff. And so, rather than trying to suppress your thoughts, label them and let them go. (By the way, if you’ve got multiple voices in your head that’s a problem way beyond the scope of this blog post!)

Leaves on a Stream

Here’s an alternative to focusing on your breathing. It’s a visualization I find immensely helpful in unhooking myself from thoughts and letting them go. (This “Leaves on a Stream” metaphor was suggested by psychologist Steve Hayes—the founder of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy—the cheesy jokes are all mine.) Imagine you’re sitting in front of a clear mountain stream. The sunlight is glistening off a steady flow of trickling water. (FYI: It’s a good idea to pee before beginning this exercise.)

In your mind’s eye, visualize leaves gently bobbing as they flow past on the surface of the water. Now, whenever you notice a thought—and you will, I promise—rather than bounce around inside your head, label it “thought,” place it on a leaf and let it go. Whatever the thought, pleasurable or otherwise (even if your thought is “this exercise is dumb,”) label, leaf, let go. Each and every time, label, leaf, let go.

Staying On Task

Every time you try this exercise, you’re getting practice at gently unhooking yourself from your own distracting thoughts. If you commit to developing this vital mental skill (I would suggest once a day, 10 minutes maximum) guess what’s going to happen next time you’re trying to meet a deadline, reply to a string of emails or listen to a John Williams concert. That’s right, because you’ve been practicing (and you are going to practice, right?) you’ll be far more skilled at letting disruptive thoughts go and staying on task; even if that task is simply living in the moment and having more fun.

Audio Guidance

Most people find visualization exercises easier if they’re guided through them. I’m preparing a 10 minute recording (an MP3 file that you can listen to on an iPod or computer) to help you guys master The Self-Distraction Exercise. It’s available for free to anyone who leaves an idea, question or comment in the “speak your mind” box below…

The first time I tried step aerobics I lasted about eight minutes. I wasn’t just exhausted, I accidentally caught my reflection in the window. Arms and legs flying everywhere. Honestly, as a doctor, I’ve hospitalized people for less.

Even so—in an attempt to at least maintain my current level of unfitness—last week I decided to formalize my relationship with these aerobics classes. And, at my local YMCA, the way to “put a ring on it” is to join the Personal Fitness Program. And, when I enrolled, two people made serious attempts to change my behavior…

Government Misdirection…

The first person (actually team of people) works for the government. In a very comprehensive folder from the YMCA—chock-a-block with good advice on improving muscle tone, enhancing flexibility and increasing endurance—were a couple of sheets from the United States Department of Agriculture. You may recognize their food-pyramid logo; complete with someone fit-looking climbing steps…could it be my future self?

News flash: Given that this is a document from the government, you know it’s going to be confusing, right? Here is my favorite “fun fat fact”: As a man between 31-50 years old I’m allowed 6 teaspoons of fat/day. A fact which would be very helpful if I spooned fat over my food from a jar labeled “government approved fat”. Given that the objective of this document is to teach me how to change my eating habits in order to improve my health, do you think this is helpful information?

My point is this: If you really want people to change their behavior, everything you say to them about a proposed transition must have high actionable value. Similarly, everything you give to them to read about the proposed change must have high actionable value. What do I mean by “high actionable value”? Simply this, tell people what they need to do in a simple, intuitive, step-by-step manner. Everything else is distracting trivia. Sometimes employee resistance is just a lack of clear direction.

Here’s another example from the government document: “Solid fats come from many animal foods and can be made from vegetable oils through a process called hydrogenation.” Very helpful when I was studying for a clinical biochemistry degree, but of absolutely no actionable value when it comes to improving my health.

Carmen Saves The Day…

Unlike the government document, my YMCA fitness instructor (an excellent example of what inspiration would look like if it had arms and legs) gave me highly actionable information. Carmen told me precisely how to calculate my target heart rate range, and then figured it out for me. She explained that I needed to be within this target heart range for 20 minutes three times a week; with five minutes of warm-up and cool down at the top and tail of each session. She also explained precisely how to monitor my heart rate on the treadmill, stair machine and when I’m on the step itself.

Finally, she got me to commit—in writing, complete with my signature—to this exercise regime for the next twelve weeks, phew. After all that up-front, public commitment on my part, there’s more chance of regime change in a medium-sized European country than of me skipping out on my exercise routine. (And, in a step aerobics class, I really do mean skipping.)

Driving Change…

When you write a document designed to drive change, think “actionable value”. When you are speaking directly to your staff about something you wish them to change—think “actionable value”. Whenever you are reading for the express purpose of learning how to achieve an objective (as opposed to reading for pleasure) think “actionable value”.

What changes are you currently trying to implement? What is the Actionable Value Score of the documents outlining the change? From governmental-confusing (1) to Carmen-clear (10). Have you explained, in a step-by-step fashion, precisely what you want your employees to do differently?

Bottom line: If you want to drive personal, professional or organizational change, think “actionable value” in word and deed.

I’m off to the gym; I know precisely what I’ve got to do and I’ve promised to do it…

I would love to hear your ideas, comments and questions; “have your say” in the box below…

So, it’s mid January. How are you doing with your New Year Resolutions?

Here’s a reality check: Regardless of the change you’re trying to make, if you’ve acquired a track record, it’s highly likely you’ll continue down the same road. Even if this particular change in your behavior were desperately required to save your life – and I mean literally save your life – chances are you wouldn’t make it. Decades of research has made it abundantly clear, the odds are most definitely stacked against you.

Why is it so tough to achieve the goals we set for ourselves? How can we overcome the intractable psychological pressures that hamstring our sincere attempts to make significant changes in our lives?

Fact is, your brain is hardwired to drag you, kicking and screaming, back into the same old habits whenever you try and change. To transform your life requires that you understand this hard wiring so you can avoid the pitfalls along the way. Despite the best of intentions most people never successfully make the changes they crave. You can be one of the few who do achieve their goals.

Here are some of the key issues along the path to real transformation.

Set Goals, But Mind The Gap

When we think about the gap between where we are and where we’d like to be, it makes us feel uncomfortable, doesn’t it? And the larger this gap, the more uneasy we feel. This psychological discomfort is called cognitive dissonance. It occurs whenever we’re stuck between two conflicting thoughts; such as the gap between our current reality and our dreams. And goal setting amplifies our cognitive dissonance because it forces us to focus on this chasm.

We don’t like living with psychological discomfort, and so our brain tries to close the cognitive dissonance gap; generally by giving up. (This outcome is accompanied by a flurry of excuses and procrastination.) Alternatively, we can close the gap by actively moving towards our goal.

The crucial point here is to ensure that the gap between your reality and your goals creates discomfort and yet, at the same time, is believable for you. It’s easy to talk glibly about “shooting for the stars,” but if you jack up your discomfort too far beyond your belief then your chances of success tend towards zero.

Bottom line: Set goals, but mind the gap.

Manage The Fear Messages

Whenever you attempt to make a concrete change to some aspect of your day-to-day behavior, your brain sends “fear messages” that further amplify your discomfort. If you remain unaware of this psychological dynamic, it’s highly likely you’ll back off the success-building activity in order to reduce your discomfort. Here are some of the common “fear messages” to watch out for.

• I can’t do it!
• I’m feeling overwhelmed, I must stop.
• I’m never going to succeed.

The key to overcoming your “fear messages” are to realize that they are simply stories. Whenever your self-talk and conversation contains words and phrases like “I can’t,” “I must give up,” “this will never work,” it’s vital to realize that these are invented narratives, not reality. They are not an indication that you should give up on your goals.

Whenever these stories start to appear, simply subdivide the task in front of you into a series of smaller, very specific steps and take action, immediately, on the first one. Still feeling overwhelmed, subdivide the steps still further.

And if it transpires that you really do lack a specific piece of knowledge or skill, don’t give up; get educated! Take a class, read a book by an acknowledged expert. (Be careful of information you track down on the internet, much of it is highly questionable.) Whatever your personal goal, feed your brain with enough high-quality information to give you the self-confidence to act decisively.

Finally, take action regardless of how you feel. If you can’t disassociate your feelings from your need to take action, you will remain stuck in a rut for the rest of your life.

Don’t Hardwire Your Brain For Failure

Recent research has shown that your brain is an evolving ecosystem that changes, quite literally, from one second to the next. In other words, your thoughts and feeling leave footprints as they change the anatomy of your brain. And so whenever you make a decision to take action, it’s mission-critical that you follow through (and psychologically damaging if you don’t).

Every time you take action towards achieving a goal, you point your brain “footprints” in the right direction. Conversely, every time you wimp out on a task you’ve set yourself, you reinforce the hardwired “failure” pathways. It’s more likely you’ll procrastinate next time and, over time, condition yourself to fall short.

What tactics do you use to achieve your New Year resolutions? We would love to hear them. Feel free to “speak your mind” in the box below…

I also described specific day-to-day errors executives make which intensify this passive-aggressive foot dragging.

Finally, I pointed out that many of these mistakes arise because leaders wildly underestimate—if they consider it at all—Emotion Brain. A raw, primal brain region with the power to resist any kind of transition until you, your staff and your organization die!

Today, I’m going to talk step-by-step (do this…then that) solutions and put them into a simple framework. Listen carefully: Your goal is about more than dragging reluctant staff through a major organizational change and “making it” out the other side. Your objective should be to actively leverage your team’s experience of transition for creativity and growth.

Organizational Change Begins With Loss

Change consultant William Bridges points out, “transition begins with an ending and ends with a beginning”. (It’s hardly surprising we feel so turned around.) Endings bring feelings of loss and the loss feels endless; which brings on the organizational equivalent of grieving.

The range of losses a particular individual feels aren’t even close to endless. It only feels that way. That’s why, rather than sweeping any discussion of loss under the corporate carpet (an awful tactic I described in change management – part 1) it’s vital to identify, mitigate and contextualize the losses your people will inevitably feel.

For each person the loss list is different. Examples of “loss” include job security, opportunity for promotion, sitting next to a beloved colleague, having to move to another part of the country or having to say goodbye to a popular manager. And don’t forget the “mental” losses like shattered confidence with the implementation of a new software or guilt that the reorganization was somehow “my fault”.

And so, in the face of loss, there are a well defined set of emotions that people experience (denial, anxiety, anger, guilt, etc). Within a team expect to see all of them. Here are some concrete tactics for dealing with your staff’s perception of loss and the accompanying emotional turbulence. (FYI: Fear of having to deal with people being “over emotional” sometimes prevents leaders following through on this vital strategy; that would be a mistake.)

Tactic 1: Identify The Losses

Rather than dismissing any talk of loss, go the extra mile and actively help people manage the feelings of loss that they will undoubtedly experience.

Ask your staff some frank questions about their experience of loss. What do you feel you are losing? What do you see as the implications of these losses? And, as you ask these questions, don’t presume to know their answers. Also, don’t argue with what people are feeling. (Let them experience their loss however they experience it.)

And openly acknowledge what’s being lost. Don’t shy away from the grief people feel. Instead, give people the emotional space to express their sense of loss and grief. Do cut people some slack (make allowances for emotional expression,) but don’t allow people to act out. And, remember, it’s not about you even though, at times, it may be directed at you.

Tactic 2: Mitigate The Losses

Figure out concrete ways to offset the things your staff are losing. How can I counterbalance what’s been taken away? How can I rebuild a sense of community in a fragmented team? How can I help the manager who lost her position during a merger regain status and credibility within the group? How can I assist the person forced to move across the country to keep his job feel an integrated part of my team? How can I quickly restore a sense of competence to someone who’s self esteem has taken a hit? Get the idea?

Another important tactic for mitigating the losses, is to clarify what isn’t being lost. During transition it’s easy to overlook all the things which are staying the same and only focus on what’s changing. It’s natural for us to view the world that way, the part of our environment that’s changing is most likely to represent a threat. And we’re hardwired to be on the lookout for potential threats. (I’ll talk about this in the next message.) Pointing out all the things that are staying the same can provide a much needed anchor against the tide of change.

Tactic 3: Contextualize The Losses

Your objective is to place the sense of loss into a broader context. Giving your staff a big-picture narrative into which to place their emotions, helps normalize the change experience. First off, proactively warn people to expect feelings they would normally consider over-emotional.

Secondly, get your staff emotionally engaged in the problem. What can you do to make it their problem? For example, play them recordings of dissatisfied customers complaining to customer service agents. Show them what people are saying about your organization on the social media websites. Invite dissatisfied customers to talk to your staff directly. Think in terms of selling the problem, not just the solution.

Thirdly, as you contextualize change, educate your staff about Emotion Brain. Many of the difficulties we face in life arise from a misunderstanding of and inability to manage Emotion Brain. A bullying dictator who rants at your unconscious, screams absolute demands at the universe…and lives inside your head. It’s Emotion Brain who perceives organizational change as physically threatening and responds in a manner entirely congruent with this perspective. As far as Emotion Brain is concerned, when you try to institute change, you may as well have sneaked up behind your staff in a dark alley and tried to stab them in the back!

So how can you harness Emotion Brain’s raw power for good? Stay tuned for the next change management post…

If you’re finding these strategies and tactics useful, I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. You can “speak your mind” in the box below this post…

Rather than forging a bright new future as a unified, peak-performance team, it’s depressingly clear that old problems have resurfaced, anxiety levels are through the roof and staff motivation has plummeted. What blunders produced this impasse? And what concrete steps can be taken to fix them?

Crucial Mistakes

1. During organizational change, sweeping any discussion of what your staff are losing under the corporate carpet: Loss is an unavoidable consequence of any significant change. It might be the loss of status following a merger, loss of competence with new software or loss of security after downsizing. Fact is, any significant transition involves letting go of something valued.

That said, I’m often amazed at the lengths otherwise smart leaders will go to avoid addressing what’s been lost. I’ve had executives interrupt me during a conference call: “We don’t want to talk about loss. Let’s focus on the wonderful benefits of our reorganization.”

News flash: You don’t get to choose! Your employees will experience loss regardless of whether you want to discuss it. And, if you don’t discuss the elephant in the room, they will grieve anyway and blame you for it!

2. Inadvertently creating an environment ripe for toxic stories: Information is power. That maybe so, but lack of information will kick its butt! In an attempt to avoid anxiety and panic, leaders often withhold crucial facts from their staff. This information vacuum creates a massive drive for closure and triggers the telling of highly-toxic stories that create anger, panic and feelings of limp futility.

It’s important to be aware that the emotional tone in an office is set at the biological level. Each person influences the hormone levels, cardiovascular function and even sleep patterns of those around them. (It’s called interpersonal limbic regulation.) Toxic stories can sour the taste of this “emotional soup,” disrupting focus and work-flow.

3. Not harnessing the uncertainty of change for innovation: Business as usual is highly resistant to brainstorming, innovation and experimentation. When people are caught in limbo (between the old- and the new-way of doing things) their eyes open and creativity can be unleashed…but only if the appropriate structures are in place.

4. Expecting dry-as-dust facts and statistics to persuade flesh-and-blood people: It doesn’t matter that you’ve seen all the data and genuinely know what’s best for your organization. Having logic on your side isn’t enough to persuade your staff to follow you into unknown territory. Facts change thinking, not emotion and effective leadership during transition requires you to focus the passion (as well as the minds) of your employees. If you focus on facts and ignore feelings, expect to approach every organizational change you ever initiate with your fingers crossed.

5. When facts don’t do the trick, wielding fear and force to “motivate” recalcitrant staff: Here’s the thing, your staff are already fearful, and rubbing raw nerves will simply push them into denial. Absenteeism will skyrocket, while those who made it into work will sit around as if the changes were never implemented. Don’t believe me? Try it…

And if—when you think you’ve run out of alternatives—you default to using force…be prepared to never turn your back. Question: Can the changes you need to make be achieved without passion, creativity or independent thought? No, then forget force—“I’m the boss and I said so”—for anything more than a brief burst of reluctant energy. Hard methods won’t bring hard results.

Emotion Brain

These five screw-ups share a common denominator; a gross misunderstanding of Emotion Brain. Make no mistake, your Emotion Brain can freeze you (and your staff) to the spot and drive a stake through the heart of every new initiative you launch. FYI: Your Emotion Brain never sleeps and will keep resisting change until you, your staff and your organization die!

As a business leader (or leader-in-waiting) what are your solutions to the above tactical mistakes? Leave your observations, comments and questions in the box below…

In the interests of keeping these messages bite-sized (but not so short that they degenerate into cheesy motivational speaker cliches) I’ll discuss my solutions in the next Perspective Power^TM message. I’ll talk about Emotion Brain and describe change management essentials you can implement immediately. A bonanza of hyper-effective, change-accelerating tactics you can learn today and use tomorrow (crucial stuff for serious executives).

Let me know what you think…

I’ve admired Derren’s work for over fifteen years (when I lived in the UK, long before I became a motivational speaker…and Derren got famous). Derren’s journey to outrageous (and well deserved) mega-success contains immediately – and universally – applicable lessons for anyone who wants to excel in any field.

A Radical Perspective

Derren saw mind-reading magic (a largely derivative and often hack genre) from an utterly novel point of view – A riveting combination of magic and hypnotic suggestion, all wrapped up in psychological byplay.

Then, building on the rock solid platform of a fresh perspective, Derren held himself to a dizzying standard of performing excellence. He worked hard and continued to hone his cutting edge approach to a razor’s edge. Over time, he developed a style which is raw, in-your-face and utterly bewildering. And, at the time (by his own admission) he was broke…

When Opportunity Strikes…

And then a major TV network called…someone else!

Andy Nyman (another superb psychological magician whose creativity and talent I greatly admire) was invited to star in a show that a production company were putting together for Channel 4. Andy (choosing to pursue his passion for acting) turned the gig down. And opened the door for Derren…

Since then, Derren has achieved both celebrity and critical acclaim. (In 2006 he won the Laurence Olivier Award for his West End show “Something Wicked This Way Comes”.)

How About You?

Rather than conform to the norm, Derren has a radically different perspective on his area of expertise. What are your talents? Could you improve your results by using your current skill set in a novel way? (Same skill set, different mindset.) When talent and hard work aren’t enough to bring you the results you deserve, looking at what you do from a fresh angle can make all the difference.

Are You Ready For Prime Time?

Derren continually refined his talent so, when opportunity knocked, he was ready to be a “prime time” player. For many people, it’s not lack of a “big break” that holds them back; they’re simply not ready to leap on unexpected opportunities when they appear.

If – thirty minutes from now – your door of opportunity swung open, would you be ready to embrace your dream? What part of your skill set needs polish? Right now, what could you do to keep yourself in the growth-groove?

What Are You Passionate About?

What became of Andy Nyman? Well, in addition to leading roles in Emmy-winning movies (acting alongside the likes of Donald Sutherland, David Schwimmer and LeeLee Sobieski) Andy became the co-writer for all of Derren’s TV specials. And also won the Laurence Olivier Award for directing “Something Wicked This Way Comes”.

Success has also come to Andy in a less meteoric manner, but in a way more aligned with his passion. What are you truly passionate about? Do you understand yourself well enough that you could decline the “good” opportunity…and wait for the great opportunity?

Derren and Andy, I salute you both!

I’ve just added an article to the critical thinking section of my website on the role of luck in your success.

A team of scientists from the University of Hertfordshire (led by Professor Richard Wiseman) have spent over a decade studying the nature of luck. I found their research findings to be both fascinating (and personally challenging).

Here’s the link: Perspective Power – The Role Of Luck

I would love to hear your opinion on their conclusions,

Steve

Here’s my answer: I’m a fool for feedback. During my career I’ve gathered a team of trusted advisors that I can turn to for tough, honest feedback. It is, without doubt, the smartest thing I’ve ever done.

Feedback is essential for success. One of the factors that characterizes high-achievers is their passion for feedback; it’s how they monitor the effectiveness of their actions.

In my last Perspective Power^TM Message, I discussed the vital importance of taking action. The next step is to obtain accurate feedback so you can adjust your ongoing actions as required. We all have a terrifyingly limited perspective on our own performance. And so, while self-evaluation is important, we need input from other people.

After my speeches and training programs, we always ask to see the feedback forms. For the ego trip? Sure, a little bit. But, most importantly, so I can get real-time, accurate feedback from the people who—in my professional life—matter most; my audiences.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
As I travel around the country speaking to business audiences, when it comes to feedback, I’m often struck by the unofficial “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy operating in many organizations.

We “don’t ask” because of a mental quirk called Pseudo-Mind-Reading. And, when we “don’t tell,” we curse those around us with polite indifference.

“Steve, what the heck is Pseudo-Mind-Reading?”

Pseudo-Mind-Reading
In order to explain ‘Pseudo-Mind-Reading’, let’s talk about the dolphins at SeaWorld. I love watching them pose for applause after performing their acrobatic tricks. And, while I’m well aware that the trainers feed them fish throughout the show, I find it surprisingly easy to ignore this obvious clue to what the dolphins are most likely thinking; ‘Forget the applause, just give me more fish!’

Instead, I choose to confer human motives on their behavior. I imagine them relishing the adulation, conceiving of their cheeky interaction with the crowd and understanding the significance of the trainer’s kiss. I’m watching what the dolphins are doing and making assumptions about what they’re thinking. In short, I’m assuming that I can read a dolphin’s mind!

Pseudo-Mind-Reading, inferring thinking from behavior, is something we all do habitually. Unfortunately, when we feel that we already know what colleagues think of our performance, we stop seeking the vital feedback that would enable us to hone our skills.

Three Concrete Steps
Here are three sure-fire steps for overcoming Pseudo-Mind-Reading:
1. Wake up to the fact that Pseudo-Mind-Reading prevents you grasping your need for feedback.

2. Be especially aware of Pseudo-Mind-Reading when you notice thoughts like:

• He never tells me, but I know that he likes my work.
• We lost that account and everybody feels that it was my fault.
• Even though I’ve never asked my boss for a promotion, she knows that I want one.

3. Seek 360-Degree Feedback: We need feedback from our subordinates as much as we need feedback from our peers and managers. Your personal assistant will have a much clearer idea of how you sound on the telephone than you do.

This truth is the cornerstone of a feedback technique from Robert E. Kelley. If you’re feeling brave and truly committed to seeking the fast track for excellence, then try his idea. It’s called ‘360 Degree Feedback’ and is described in his book ‘How To Be A Star At Work’. Seek feedback from your manager, your peers and your subordinates. Ask for your strengths and weaknesses. Two tips on executing this powerful strategy:

• If you’re looking for honest feedback then don’t, under any circumstances, get defensive. You’re not looking for compliments but  seeking a point by point review of your current performance.
• Although executing this technique requires a fair degree of courage, remember that acting on the feedback will give you a security in your performance and a level of self-confidence that you would otherwise not enjoy.

By the way, if your reply to the question at the beginning of this message wasn’t feedback, but something else entirely, then I would love to hear your answer. And whatever it is, if it’s worked well for you, then do more of it!

On Wednesday, February 6, I’ll write about “The Curse Of Polite Indifference,” the other barrier to obtaining accurate feedback.

Steve

PS: Feel free to leave your feedback below