Are You A Fool For Feedback?

Over the years, what one thing has contributed most to your success?

Here’s my answer: I’m a fool for feedback. During my career I’ve gathered a team of trusted advisors that I can turn to for tough, honest feedback. It is, without doubt, the smartest thing I’ve ever done.

Feedback is essential for success. One of the factors that characterizes high-achievers is their passion for feedback; it’s how they monitor the effectiveness of their actions.

In my last Perspective Power^TM Message, I discussed the vital importance of taking action. The next step is to obtain accurate feedback so you can adjust your ongoing actions as required. We all have a terrifyingly limited perspective on our own performance. And so, while self-evaluation is important, we need input from other people.

After my speeches and training programs, we always ask to see the feedback forms. For the ego trip? Sure, a little bit. But, most importantly, so I can get real-time, accurate feedback from the people who—in my professional life—matter most; my audiences.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
As I travel around the country speaking to business audiences, when it comes to feedback, I’m often struck by the unofficial "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" policy operating in many organizations.

We "don’t ask" because of a mental quirk called Pseudo-Mind-Reading. And, when we "don’t tell," we curse those around us with polite indifference.

"Steve, what the heck is Pseudo-Mind-Reading?"

Pseudo-Mind-Reading
In order to explain ‘Pseudo-Mind-Reading’, let’s talk about the dolphins at SeaWorld. I love watching them pose for applause after performing their acrobatic tricks. And, while I’m well aware that the trainers feed them fish throughout the show, I find it surprisingly easy to ignore this obvious clue to what the dolphins are most likely thinking; ‘Forget the applause, just give me more fish!’

Instead, I choose to confer human motives on their behavior. I imagine them relishing the adulation, conceiving of their cheeky interaction with the crowd and understanding the significance of the trainer’s kiss. I’m watching what the dolphins are doing and making assumptions about what they’re thinking. In short, I’m assuming that I can read a dolphin’s mind!

Pseudo-Mind-Reading, inferring thinking from behavior, is something we all do habitually. Unfortunately, when we feel that we already know what colleagues think of our performance, we stop seeking the vital feedback that would enable us to hone our skills.

Three Concrete Steps
Here are three sure-fire steps for overcoming Pseudo-Mind-Reading:
1. Wake up to the fact that Pseudo-Mind-Reading prevents you grasping your need for feedback.

2. Be especially aware of Pseudo-Mind-Reading when you notice thoughts like:

• He never tells me, but I know that he likes my work.
• We lost that account and everybody feels that it was my fault.
• Even though I’ve never asked my boss for a promotion, she knows that I want one.

3. Seek 360-Degree Feedback: We need feedback from our subordinates as much as we need feedback from our peers and managers. Your personal assistant will have a much clearer idea of how you sound on the telephone than you do.

This truth is the cornerstone of a feedback technique from Robert E. Kelley. If you’re feeling brave and truly committed to seeking the fast track for excellence, then try his idea. It’s called ‘360 Degree Feedback’ and is described in his book ‘How To Be A Star At Work’. Seek feedback from your manager, your peers and your subordinates. Ask for your strengths and weaknesses. Two tips on executing this powerful strategy:

• If you’re looking for honest feedback then don’t, under any circumstances, get defensive. You’re not looking for compliments but  seeking a point by point review of your current performance.
• Although executing this technique requires a fair degree of courage, remember that acting on the feedback will give you a security in your performance and a level of self-confidence that you would otherwise not enjoy.

By the way, if your reply to the question at the beginning of this message wasn’t feedback, but something else entirely, then I would love to hear your answer. And whatever it is, if it’s worked well for you, then do more of it!

On Wednesday, February 6, I’ll write about "The Curse Of Polite Indifference," the other barrier to obtaining accurate feedback.

Steve

PS: Feel free to leave your feedback below